Tears of pain

Oh dear,

Has it been over a month since my last post already?? Time really flies when you're getting older, doesn't it??

The sad reason that I'm able to blog today, and I'm going for a long post, is that I'm suffering from a severe throat infection. Yes, suffering indeed: for the past four days I've been able to eat nothing but fluids (so, can we still call it 'eating' then?) and I've slept about three hours max each night. To make things worse I was so restlessly sick I started keeping the boyfriend awake and seeing as he has to get up for work early I decided to come back home where I have my own bed and no one in it to infect. Not that I don't love infecting people: only the right ones. I'm going back to the doctor later because the infection isn't getting better... (my throat looks like the worst thing of one PJ's B-films)... I suppose.

I was working at Fnac (until I got sick) but this time in an actual shop, in Leuven for those of you who know their way around Belgium. I suspect nobody but anyway: I worked at the reception there, which I really loved to do and still hope to do again soon! Having lots of people around you, explain things to people, help them...those are the kind of things I find very satisfying on a personal level... Some people can be so grateful when you assist them and others....well, not, but we just laugh at those behind their backs...

And I finally finished my HP scarf!!! Okay, I realise it's a bit post GoF premiere but as I couldn't make it to London I kinda lost my motivation, yet I hadn't much left to do and being the sicko that I am, I closed the deal when I wasn't hanging with my head over the toilet.
So, I have now two HP Slytherin scarves, the two versions (I just don't like the one in the first move so I simply ignore it) And man, was I GLAD they didn't change the pattern for the fourth one... not that I don't like knitting...just not THAT much! I'll try to come up with some 'here's the proof'- pictures soon. Btw, weren't there any others who planned to conquest the world with Gryffindor and Ravenclaw scarves???

Speaking of Gof, I've seen it twice so far and generally liked it. Especially the 'Britishness' this movie seemed to have (I think I love you, Mike Newell!)
Naturally there were way to few Snape scenes but it was to be expected. I can only hope and pray for the HBP movie!
That reminds me, I still only read the sixth book once... I think I'm going to wait for the Dutch translation and read that one first. Of course it's already out in Dutch for weeks but I suspect someone bought it as a Christmas present and I would be pretty stupid to waste my own money on a double so I patiently (or not so) wait...

Question: Do you guys/girls/men/women do your Christmas shopping waaaay early or last minute?

I, myself, am an early shopper: I hate too crowded stores where it's too hot inside making outside looking Antartic and creating an ideal situation for picking up some illness of some sorts. (hold on.... *overviews shopping days*....*phew*...Nope, couldn't have been that after all, mum would kill me if it was!)

I'm sorry to hear about your friend abandonning you, Ester (glad I'm back in the game with that one... so embarressing) I remember when I was young...er, we had this group of four friends and one week two had a huge (silly) argument and somehow I choose one side and the other friend choose to follow the other. It never got back the way it was... But at least I kept my friend throughout all the grades while her 'former-best-friend-turned-enemy' didn't turn up for the last year and disappeared without a word...just leaving her friend behind.
Mind you, I lost contact with about everyone after a while... what I'm trying to say is: there are two types of friends: normal ones and those you meet through school. The best ones to keep are the 'normal' ones...and the school ones usually don't last, and if they do, you're better off with someone you get to know when you're in higher education (or something alike) because at that age we all have learned to rationalise. Plus, it won't hurt as hard to loose contact then an actual 'break-up' though in the end you even get over that.

Enough rambling! I think more or less created a long post after all... Just one last question:

How are you all doing???

Apart from being currently a bit sick (can you tell I'm not allowed to talk?) I'm doing fine...
Have I mentioned we had six dwarf rabbits about two months ago? Well, with one exception they're all gone *sniffs ... not the pretty white one* Hem, so current animal status: three rabbits and three (bloody annoying) birds. Nicely balanced, ey? Of course, I still have my dog but she is at home though she did stayed over once... Nearly tore the whole place down but an impressive first time nonetheless.
Everything with the boyfriend is going well... (when did I started to use 'the' .... OH, right...teh pudge...hihi, got it) Subjects like children and marriage already came up and we're still together so it couldn't have been that bad... Might I already say that I must supress anyone's hope of becoming godmother... It's been my mother's obsession for...ever. *sigh* *no pressure at all*
And of course now my 22-year old niece is two months pregnant (she got to know her boyfriend after I did mine = the end of May, so do the math) Not to say that 'accident' is the appropriate word here. Still, it kinda bugs me, somehow I always thought that as the oldest I would be the first. That is thinking logically, isn't it??
Oh, well... I still have time to deliver until I'm 25... An agreement I made with another niece. That means: turning 24 in March 2006, minus 9 months of March 2007... Yes well...Am I busy in June?


See you around!

Kisses,
Sarah
xxxxx

As requested...an update...

Greetings to everyone who might still read this blog... I'm doing really fine, I'm currently working at Fnac (just a temporary job but I like the work so I'm happy about it....) The downside is that I'll be working at the time of the HP London premiere, so that's definitely a negative answer to that question... which I deeply regret since I've been looking forward for a new HP movie for ages.
I've no idea how the board is progressing, haven't been there in weeks, a consequence of lacking a computer seeing as I've moved in with my boyfriend two months ago...

Does anyone want Wuthering Heights (another Brontë book) cause I've got a double... (Spent a whole afternoon on a bookfestival recently... we came home with an extra 50 pieces... as a weak defense... 20 of them were comic books.)

Anyway, let me know!

As for a chat... Sunday is our only mutual day off so... I'm not likely to be present any time soon. Sorry, xxx

P.S.: Milkychocs....Do you still have a blog??

And *hangs head in shame* I'm having difficulties locating Esthergreenwood... Obviously you know me (right?) but where do I know you from??


Until next time,

xxxxxxx

Notification

Just a quick post to inform you of the fact that I'm no longer a student but currently looking for ... *gasp*... a job!!!


Yes, you've read that correctly!

Finally

Yes, I know that I haven't blogged in weeks but today this will finally change: I have found some time to dedicate to my ever faithful computer. Although I'm obliged to say this won't be a very long post either: my time is still more limited then it used to be. First of all, I miss everyone terribly (and I do mean this in a very positive way, mind you) I was hoping to find someone online as I typ these words down seeing as it is 'our' weekly Sunday chatting time but....alas, it seems as the whole get-to-gether-weekly-to-chat-thing isn't what it was in better days. Perhaps we should suggest a new day to take over msn?? Ideas and suggestions always welcome...

As of August 31 I'm officially free from summer work! Hoorah, especially since this means I have a little more free time on my hands... However, I still work at Saturdays... selling shoes for little kiddies... Woohoo... and currently I'm living with my boyfriend while my sweet notebook stays at home being useless... So I might not be around as much (blogwise) than my previous outings can confirm but I'll try to post once/twice weekly... and make longer posts too...

In fact, I should also be browsing through six or seven Imdb board pages but it ain't happening either... So I'm feeling terribly guilty (and yes, this time in a not so positive way). Well, I'm going to the city carnaval later this evening and I'm going to experience a huge shopping fest tomorrow so I suppose I can live with the heavy guilt blows...

For those who'd like to know: I'm recommencing with school (still translator English) the end of September, the 26th I think... But first I have to shop... and, no, it's not pleasant buy-what-you-want-shopping...It's I-must-attend-a-wedding-and-I-have-nothing-to-wear-shopping. Horrible times lay ahead...

Well, that it for now...hopefully more soon...

Ciao!xxx

To-do-list: shopping, re-read Half-Blood Prince, watch another AR-movie

With support from TextBuilding: Your Number 1 provider of '-'s

HBP

Just a quick post (don't worry: no spoilers)... Just want to say: Thank you, JK Rowling!!!!

The HBP was everything I hoped it would turn out to be!! I wasn't so much surprised by the developments as with the previous books but this book is the most pleasing of all!!! Wonderful read! I would say, worth the wait but we still like to read the last one this century so...

Can't wait to see how the story develops from here: here's to hoping for NO clichéd storylines!


Happy reading everyone!

Plan B

Today I'm irresistably drawn to write something in my blog even though there's only one thing haunting my thoughts: *sigh* It's the boyfriend's birthday next Monday and he told me yesterday that his mother asked him whether he would do something special that day and he replied saying he believed I had something planned.

Well, I HADN'T planned anything particular... Just dropping by, giving him his presents and have a nice evening.

Now he's expecting something special... And I have no idea what I could do.... Perhaps I should tie him to the bed until he begs to be released..? But that wouldn't give him a pleasant b-day...
Ugh... I'm at an impasse...

Update

Good day.

Passed all my exams. Seen War of the Worlds yesterday. Bloody clichéd ending *ugh*. First sighting of Marvin in trailer *squee*. First day at work today. Am very tired. Cute kiddies though. Craving for Martini now. Trip to the coast tomorrow. Need to buy boyfriend's b-day present while being relatively clueless. Oh, utter joy. Going to bed while being thirsty....bad idea.

Goodnight.

I blog, you blog, he blogs, we blog

Oh dear, oh dear! I've been falling more behind on this blog with each passing day! To be honest I hardly remember that such a thing as 'my personal blog' exists these days... And if I did post something it was one of those mindless tests/questionnaires shamelessly stolen from others... Oh, well.

I still haven't gotten my exams results (tomorrow, blessed tomorrow!) but as with my blog, I'd forgotten that I had taken some exams a few weeks ago. Or whenever it was that I slaved my way through course notes... Who cares anyway?? Exactly... it's the summer holidays and I'll be damned if I didn't flaunt that good feeling... even if that means dragging the boyfriend into the bedroom...once more, with feeling! Hmm....except on Thursday cause we'll be in a public environment and on Friday cause I'll have to work...but perhaps in the late evening/early morning....But I disgress: the point I'm trying to make is: real life has caught up with me and I haven't had nearly as time for chats as I wished I had =( Or any other means of contact for that matter....

Nooo, instead I've been walking around in the city shopping for clothes (not only for me!), enjoying the local music festival (jazz & blues!) while sipping my white wine.... Who said life isn't agreeable at times... Not to mention those damn fine bbq's we've been having lately... *sigh*
Oh, and I got an invitation to the HBP release party on July 16th!!! Squee!! The only 'problem' is that there's a fashion show...As in: you have to come dressed up as someone/something magical!!

WTF????

I just want the bloody book!!!

And, no, I do not own a Snape costume...*you people*


A la prochaine....xxx

Yes, I stole again.

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz.php?quizname=050628120034-317042

So, how well do you know me?

Questionnaire!

Shamelessly stolen from Miss H.

1. What's on your desktop? Desktop? What do you mean desktop? I don't have one.
2. What book are you reading right now? Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy is still not finished *despairs* And I have tons of English classics waiting in line but on July 16th they 'll all have to make way!
3. What's on your mouse pad? Notebook, so no mouse.
4. Favorite board game? No particular one but if someone could teach me how to play chess....
5. Favorite magazine? Must be our newspaper (Nieuwsblad) 'cause it's the only one I read.
6. Favorite smells? Some men, flowers, white wine, chocolate, lotions, coffee, the scent hanging in the air after it rained during spring/summer.
7. Least favorite smells? Rotten egg.
8. Worst feeling in the world? Being sick, insecure or have a broken heart.
9. Favorite sounds? Music, Alan Rickman's voice (hands down!), nature...
10. First thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? Damn! Snape looks hot! (poster next to my bed)
11. How many rings before you answer the phone? If I'm expecting a call: barely two, if not...*yawn* I'll take my sweet time.
12. Favorite colour? Green
13. Do you like your name? I'm used to it by now of course but I do think the name was a bit too popular in my time.
14. Who were you named after? I know the name is Jewish and that there used to be a song at the time I was born (so I blame the singer for the many people out there named like me) But seeing as my parents had other names too, I think they just picked what they both liked best.
15. Favorite food? Depends on the mood & the weather... Some typical national dishes always score well.
16. Do you drive fast? According to my mum: yes. According to me: my mum's blind.
17. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate any day.
18. Worst disaster you fear? Losing people I love, becoming terribly ill.
19. Storms, cool or scary? As long as I'm inside: storm away.
20. What was your first (dream) car? RAV4
21. If you could meet someone dead or alive, who would it be? Alan Rickman but I'd have to be allowed to have an actual conversation with the man of course...
22. What is your zodiac sign? Aries
23. Favorite drink? Champagne
24. Favorite vegetable? I cannot pick just one!
25. If you could have any job, what would it be? A job that wouldn't feel like a job.
26. Hair, long or short? Long!
27. How many times have you been in love? Twice
28. Is the glass half-empty or half-full? If it's alcohol and I'm around: it's empty.
29. Do you type with your fingers over the right keys? Sometimes
30. Favorite movie? Sense & Sensibility
31. What's under your bed? Nothing. Maybe some dust.
32. Favorite number? Erm.... 3?
33. Favorite sport to watch? Tennis.
34. PC or MAC? Pc
35. What's on your nightstand? Lavalamp, alarm clock (standard) And pill, cellphone (occasional)
36. How many pillows on your bed? Three and a red heart (does that count too?)
37. In case of fire what will you remember to take with you? My blanket
38. What/who do you admire? Selfless people.
39. What do you think is the best thing ever invented? wheel, democracy, contraceptives, internet...
40. Most influential person? Nobody can have that much influence. Nobody should have that much influence.
41. Favorite places? Beach, my room, movie theatre
42. Do you say your prayers? No
43. Minutes you spend in a shower? About 20-25. (Phew! Glad it didn't say: in a bath!)
44. Most prized possession? Books, Alan Rickman-collection, my dog...
45. What's your best asset? On the inside: my high tolerance level and intellect, on the outside: my hair and eyes...
46. Jewellery you wear? Yes. Yoda you speak?
47. Coke or Pepsi? Neither
48. What did you have for breakfast? Piece of fruit....erm....oh, an orange!
49. Favorite time of the year? Post-exams are special and I like most days anyway....
50. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be? Bugs Bunny! I love carrots!! Luckily I don't have the teeth...

Wish upon a star...

Okay, I know it must seem rather strange (read: crazy) for me to post at this hour (three hours past midnight) but I've got so much on my mind right now that I almost didn't remember I had a blog where I could re-think about everything.

Basically, Exams are over (big cheer!) and I pity those fools in my class that still have to take three, even one on a Saturday! The horror! I'm glad I never had one in the weekend (yet)... I believe my exams went relatively well, it's always a bit of a wait for the right results... some teachers work in mysterious ways. I'm optimistic though (I wonder what caused that mood)

Anyway, due to revisions I haven't been online for what seems like a very very long time (it's exactly four days actually) so it feels like I've got a lot of catching up to do... If only my internet connection would work properly, that would help a bunch! My parents celebrated their close-to-30(!)-wedding anniversary today and with the end of revision time: drinks were in order! My boyfriend was finally allowed to come over again, not that my parents prohibited him to come, no, I asked for a three-day seperation so I could focuss on my English grammar course... But, hoorah!, those days are now officially over (until next Christmas I figure) and the reason I'm sitting here, typing this, is because he left half an hour ago after... okay, so do bare in mind that it's been an average of 33° C over here and that my parents were safely asleep at the other end of the premises.....yes?....okay.... after we had sex. On the lawn. (And spanking! Oh, my...)

Yup, I somehow knew these past days that when we would see each other again, it would not be long before it would happen and yet I'm still surprised it already did. Does that make any sense? I mean, I don't regret it, however I'm wondering whether it will change things in our relationship and if we're ready for that... It's been progressing really fast in the past weeks: we hardly are more than 24h apart and we do get along tremendously well, and no, it's not because sex was bad or mind-blowing either (anyone who believes that can happen the first time with someone (new) is looking for a fairy tale!)

Personally, I think I fear the possibility of rejection - which of course *raises hand*- is a painful past experience I already went through once. And even if I do know that I can't pinpoint myself on that past, I still inevitably do and it is frustrating as hell! Our past is what makes us today and sometimes I wish I could do it over again (well, not everything but still...) just so I would feel safer... Then again, as I said, we are doing fine so what am I worrying about? Well, enough ramblings for one evening... at least I increased my lustful level a notch *squee*....

And I just want to add: I love a man's hipbone....

Test Result

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's" Divine Comedy Inferno Test

Soft interlude

I couldn't resist after all, I knew that when I came online today to check my exam hours (always good to know those) I would be tempted into typing something for my blog. Not that I have anything interesting to say, mind you...

And even as mass-hysteria strikes down when I look at my schedule for today (learn 20 page glossary, drown in bath, go for motorcycle test ride with dad, boyfriend duties, dinner...), I dutifully construct meaningless sentences to keep you occupied. Talk about sacrifices! However seeing as I didn't include the weekly chat in my planning for the...hmm..let's see...next month or so..., the urge to give a sign of life through my blog was irresistable. And I can be very easily swayed...

Anyway, along in the 'constructive' mood I took the 'How annoying are you?' test (Woohoo, I'm not an annoying person...Hmm...must work harder on that.) and I've started up on my wintery scarf again (seeing as the temperatures dropped faster than a Firebolt) Half of it is already done... Gods, I love having an optimistic point of view in life!

Well, perhaps I could astonish you with even more details of my life if only I didn't forgotten them... (okay, so maybe they weren't all that grand.....Nope, it's my pre-exam set mind...I can't think about anything else...I even dream about the aula at night...hmm, the bright lights, the echoes...)

So I think I'm going to quit while I'm ahead (not that this the case) and wish everyone a nice holiday or good luck with their examinations or just plain fun... God knows I have no idea who's doing what at the moment...(Great Britain and a fortnight geology/biology summer course??)

Arrividerci!!

Pre-exam posting

Yes, you've read it correctly: Exams are approaching so a little painful break away from the internet it in order. I must revise and study! I must plunge myself in course notes and dictionaries, I must submerge all-knowing at the day of the exam. Anyhoo...if you don't hear/read from me in a while, most likely I'm not dead *watches all those disappointed people walking away* *Awww....pats people*

Well, some piece of advice for you kids on the road to life:

- Sin City is a good movie if you're into film noir.
- Always wear clean undies.
- Don't panic!
- Love endlessly and passionately.
- You should not drink too little...

The survey

1 MINUTE AGO: - I talked with a girl from Ireland
1 HOUR AGO: - My boyfriend sent me a text message
1 DAY AGO: - I was dead tired
1 WEEK AGO: - I can’t remember what I was doing… I had the day off…
1 YEAR AGO: - I listened to friends relating their adventures at the PoA premiere
1 YEAR FROM NOW: I hope to be happy and healthy… and I’ll probably be studying again…
1 WEEK FROM NOW: - According to my planning: it’s study time!
1 DAY FROM NOW: - I’m going to the coast with my grandparents
1 HOUR FROM NOW: - I’ll start cleaning the house…*sigh*
1 MINUTE FROM NOW: - It will be two p.m. Time to listen to the news on the radio.

I HURT: because I’m sun burnt…Particularly my stomach…
I LOVE: my boyfriend, family, friends, dog, books, music, movies, stimulating conversations, to laugh… Oh, and whips.
I HATE: perfectionism (since I have it I can claim hating it…it’s so tiring) and lies, disrespect, snobs.
I FEAR: change
I HOPE : that my life will continue the way it is at the moment
I FEEL: still a bit tired
I HIDE: myself sometimes
I DRIVE: not. I’m the passenger.
I LEARNED: a lot about and in life and yet it still surprises me
I NEED: to love and to be loved
I THINK: very hard and long at times about everything…
I DREAM: every night but I can never remember them in the morning. But they're pleasant dreams
I WANT: to take a long and hot bath after I’ve cleaned the house
I MISS: my boyfriend
I BELIEVE: that everything in life can come your way if you work for it.

No time to lie back

God damn, I've been slacking on my blog again! Thankfully I don't feel the urge to punish myself Dobby-style... At least I can use the excuse of being busy this time: I'm supposed to be preparing for revisions, but alas I've been spending so much time in the evening and night with the boyfriend last days that I'm totally wrecked due to sleep deprivation... Oh, and the damn sunburns make it hard to fall asleep too...and ironically I got those burns because I fell asleep outside at 30° C... Yes, it is a damn cycle that never seems to end.

I'm surprised I managed to finish the summer scarf at all...Of course, the damn stubborn yarn made it all curl up so it probably will have to lie under some heavy tomes to get it flat since ironing didn't work. I heard my dictionaries volunteer so with a bit of luck I'll be able to wear it next summer...

Oh, and don't ask me about the Slytherin scarf... if I so much touch it, my hand starts sweating from the wool... Yes, it's going really well. (end sarcasm)

Now excuse me, I have a survey to attend.

Star Wars III...and more.

Well, I saw the last SW movie yesterday and I must say I liked it, especially compared to the two previous ones... It kinda was a funny and rather weird day, I hadn't actually planned on seeing it but a few days ago my mum and I went to the market (where my godfather has a stand) and afterwards we went into one of the pubs there for a drink. Of course, my mum who hasn't been in a café in our little town for over twenty years just happened to know the owners from her 'young' days...
Lots of talking ensued and (as you can probably guess) the mother's conversation had to land on their respective children (Him and me) at one point, both complaining that we never went out except for cinema... And somehow we ended up exchanging numbers...which led me to going to see SW with two other men I'd never met before...and being picked up a few hours before to actual start of the movie so Him and me could 'get to know each other'...Besides from a painful sunburn (spent too long sitting in the garden talking) we also kissed after he dropped me off at home...

It seems like I've found someone to go and see Sin City with me next week...I wonder where this will go...

A request

Could anyone who reads this blog scroll back to Sunday 15 May and read my two independent poems there (I don't think they deserve to be called poem but what else should I call them?)

And tell me what you think they're about. Just that: I don't care if you like them or not, I just wanna know if you understand them, get the feeling out of them...So I can improve (hopefully hehe...)

THANK YOU!! (and if it's just one person ~I'm sorry to ask for your time to do this)

EDIT: A huge thank you to that lovely person who responded, I know you're verrry busy at the moment so I really appreciate it!!

Noah was a drunk*

Woohoo....we celebrated our grandparents 48th wedding anniversary in style this week!! Yes, as you can guess already...lots of champagne, starters, wine and dégustifs made up for one hell of an evening... Heck, I might have dragged that waiter into the toilet with me for some grand snogging session, had my cousin not been standing next to me. (To my defence: everything looks hot and cute when you've had too much to drink)

We had the excellent company of some British loud fellows who were guided by a Dutchman....I pity those people.... They were there to follow the release tour of the last Star Wars movie, and judging by their fast inhibitation (is that even a word?) of alcohol, they enjoyed what they saw. Or not and they were just trying to drown their misery. But they were laughing a lot...at the Dutchman so...who knows...

Anyway we were certainly equally loud in our expression of amusement, and confusing the Brits with switching from one language to another particularly my Aussie accent raised a few eyebrows... (and I didn't even knew I could do one....apparently I can after a few drinks). We had the most lovely Yugoslavian dinner, just don't ask me what I had for dinner... The only thing I know is that it wasn't the waiter.

It was a hoot with cream and a cherry on top, although I'm sure that racing against each other while making rude gestures at the same time is quite illegal here... Crawled out of bed with a slight headache and unbelievable after-thirst (but easily solved that last problem), tried to pull myself together for teh big test a few hours later: semi-successful but the test went. Well, it just went...I'm not going to speculate on good or bad. Also got marks for our bookreports (my Phantom of the Opera *sigh*) but I failed to hear my grade since I was completely zoned out and trying not to fall asleep. You see, I do try. Never accuse me of not trying... I'm not going to comment on any alcoholic remarks.

And now it's the weekend! Squee!! I've got four days off and I have no idea what to do....so little time so much to do... (well, so much I would like to do...that sounds better...less obligatory)

Laters! xxx



*Cookie for the one who guesses which movie this line refers to.

My preciousss

I am in desperate need of a new mantra. A sparkly one of which everyone will think: "Wow, now that IS what I call a mantra!" Because my old one has lost its magic...hmm...Snape....*must focussss* Anyway, my eloquent 'Sod off!' doesn't work anymore and therefore I'm in search for a fetchy new one. Any suggestions are welcome btw.

Perhaps you wonder why I would need a mantra in the first place? Without one heck of a catchy phrase I would resort to violence and that would be a serious no-no for my criminal record. Which is completely blank FYI since the police here can't even find their way to their own toilet without a map and a huge neon sign signalling 'Men's' (or Ladies....I don't discriminate). Anyhoo, a mantra for those pesky situations where you need a little phrase going off in your head 24/7 elst you do something you might regret. Or that is illegal.

Well, today I discovered my good ol' and well meant 'Sod off' has lost its Snape....damn...I mean...magic and no matter how much this displeases me (Does it look like I have the time to go and find a mantra? Do I??) What disturbed me even more was the scene leading up to said discovery.

Picture 'good little schoolgirl-me'........hm, might take a while....., sitting on the bus, minding my own interesting business (Hoorah for daydreaming!) when a 'Oh, I certainly didn't see that one coming' male species decides to try his luck, find his mojo, spell away his boredom, etc... to strike up conversation...with me.
I just knew that leaving radio-player and book at home would come back and bite me in the ass!

So when that thing asked me 'Comment ça va?', I gleefully answered 'Excuse me?', however my smirk died halfway when he responded: 'Oh, you speak English? How are you?'
Damn it to hell! Why does everyone seem to speak this insignificant language these days??
Now I had to answer, so instead of replying with:

-'I'll be fine the moment I get of this bus.'
-'I'm feeling very depressed. You?' *so tempting to use this one...so tempting...*
-'Me? Oh, I'm tired. Tired of your company.'
-'Sod off.' *always works*
-'*raises eyebrow*'

I decided another approach would be safer: after all, you never know if you are entertaining a maniacal rapist or not. They don't respond well to sarcasm. And since I was sitting on the wrong side for the raised eyebrow (I can only do it with one): I lifted my hand to hide my disgusted frown while thinking frantically (damn you mantra!) about what I could say without seriously pissing the bastard off yet simultanously getting rid off that shiteful slimebag all the same...and when I looked back up he had retreated to the back of the bus.

After briefly wondering whether I had developed some psychic abilities (hey, I was confused and I might have watched too many X-Men movies...) I soon discovered the reason for his flight: I was wearing my engagement ring! (Note: My mum's engagement ring I inherited *read: stole/borrowed*) Saved by the Ring!! *phewie...pets ring* Good Boy!!

Now I know why I've been single all this time...

Serpens

Living...hold me down
I'm giving
Hard the trust
Lemons

Radical change
Year of the Dog
Devoured by the Serpent
Your creation fears transition no more

Cold blooded...pounding
Sense my new heart
Alive
Seeking a prey

Poisonous masks
Touching skin to skin
No difference in the false pretenses
I will not leave

When I'm already gone.

Tonight

Pulsating blood through veins
The look, leaving any words unspoken
One single touch
Extends the invitation

'Hurt me, thrill me'
A mere whisper
Possessive promise made
Let's misbehave

Automatic
There's nothing you can do
Mesmerised
A slave out of you

Tonight
Silence reigns outside

Do joe speek inglisj?

Then try one of these:

Three witches watch three Swatch watches.
Which witch watches which Swatch watch?


And for the advanced:

Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches.
Which switched witch watches which Swatch watch switch?

Bedroom of Heaven

I can't believe it's Friday already! What happened to all that free time I had this week?? The only positive thing I could say to 'spending my time...erm... fruitfully'... was when I finally saw Kingdom of Heaven yesterday. I must confess, I had my doubts about this new Ridley Scott epic movie since I remember Gladiator all too clearly. *shudder*

But I'm relieved to say that it's a good movie... and remarkably even more enjoyable to watch if you're NOT obsessed with one of the actors...*cough cough*

Now, seeing as I have to wait till mid August for Hitchhikers, can anyone tell me whether Sin City by Rodriguez is as promising as it looks?? (Saw Once Upon a Time in Mexico too this week, and despite the mindless fast-food that it is, it didn't feel like a waste of time... useful during knitting.)

No other things to report unless you're interested to know that I discovered a semi-silver hair this week (yes, one of my own!) which of course, depressed me deeply for a moment, but I felt decidedly better after I had pulled it out... Yes, old age isn't all that peachy as they make it look.

And now, without further hesitance I'm going to take a looooong soak in the bath seeing as I'm practically falling asleep as I'm typing here.... didn't sleep for a second last night. Alas, not due to extracurricular bedroom activities (with whom would I do that?)...I simply spent the whole night reading a book. And it wasnt't even a good one. Bugger.

Now, here's a surprise:

be sorted @ nimbo.net

Scarf Love II

Mood: über-excited.

Reason: Started my Poa scarf today! My green wool isn't as dark as the previous one but I'll have to wait until I have knitted a decent piece to see whether it look decent enough compared to the other scarf. Having some difficulties in adapting to the thicker needles (who knew!) and I need to stay concentrated since I actually have to count my rows this time... I'll keep you up to date with the progress from time to time, and if I'm not blogging, you'll know what I'll be doing...

For the knit-along-ers out there (anyone?):

- 102 stitches on one needle
- 6 knit stitches, 6 purl stitches, repeat. Next row start with 6 purl, 6 knit, repeat. Next row: again 6 knit, 6 purl, repeat. And so on...

Pattern:

- 27 rows in your main colour (here: green)
- 3 rows in your second colour (here: grey/silver)
- 5 rows in green
- 3 rows in silver
- 27 rows in green
- 3 rows in silver, etc... until you have repeated this part 13 times.

When you consider the 3 silver, 5 green and 3 silver rows as one part then you should end up having knit 13 blocks (with in total 26 silver stripes since they're double)
For the main green parts (the 27 rows) you should end up with 14 parts.

Other project I'm going to start up: a slender summer scarf for which I've found very nice wool with multiple colours already integrated in it, handy...just start knitting is all you have to do. I'll put up the pattern when I have an idea how it's going to look.

Besides the knit-fest, nothing worth mentioning except for the not so funny fact that I studied all weekend (okay, I might exagerate a bit) for a test that isn't due for another fortnight. Ain't that peachy? When I got home I was thoroughly pissed (not from alcohol, sorry Mrs H.) and consoled myself with some Blackadder episodes... and.....that's about it!

Note to self 1: Remember, you hate Temptation Island, always have and therefore you're not going to start watching now even if you have to be in the room for sweater-fitting. Next time: bring a book.

Note to self 2: Never let mum knit you a sweater unless she actually sticks to the instructions.

Note to self 3: Search for diary. Write down new date for test. Otherwise you're probably going to forget it next time.

Note to self 4: When your teacher is impressed with your swearing, it's not always a good thing.

Note to self 5: Why haven't you ordered the bloody AABA dvd yet? What the fuck are you waiting for?

Scarf Love

Finished product: One Slytherin scarf ~forest green & ssilver
Lenght: +/- 2m and 35 cm
Time: Exactly two weeks
Current Mood: Proud & Excited


For any knit-along-ers out there:

- 90 stitches on one needle
- first and last green part = 27 cm
- 13 silver stripes of 5 cm
- 12 green intermediates of 8 cm

Pattern I used: 3 knit stitches, 3 purl stitches, repeat.

I love the smell of tea in the morning

I can't believe I'm actually sitting behind the screen, trying to organise my thoughts (luckily they're just a few of them) without getting dizzy or queasy. It's quite an achievement considering the state I'm in this morning... Yes, yes, I know it almost noon by this time but I just crawled out of my bed so it's a rainy morning for me!

It all started with my grandfather who turned 69 yesterday! Happy Birthday ol' chap!! And of course this was the cause for many celebrations (read: alcohol). I, who merely had cornflakes for breakfast and an orange (yum!) at two in the afternoon, had no hope in making it through the evening without making an utter fool of myself. It was a good thing that the whole family felt that way. Anyway when we got at my grandparents' house we set a good example by getting quite friendly with the bottles of champagne that were squeeing from the fridge shouting: 'pick me, I'm so delicious.' Since I'm a true champagne lover I didn't even count how many glasses I had while we were conveniently waiting for my aunt, uncle and cousin, the last one whom I hadn't seen in over two years. And of course when they did arrive, it was the cause of many cheer and exclamations, accompagnied by the consummation of more champagne... Talking gets one thirsty.

Then when we finally sat down at the table in the restaurant, more champagne ensued. Apparently my grandfather loves the number 69... Naturally we sang 'happy birthday' to him, terribly loud and off key, before we entered an evening of laughter, jibes, tales and more alcohol. I had white wine with supper, I faintly remember people around me drinking beer and rosé but it could've been a dream sequence too. Did my uncle fondle my grandmother or not? I can not handle more incest! Logically we had a lovely dessert and more importantly: a dégustif... Have I told you how much I love Amaretto?!

I have no idea how we got home safely (I'm surprised we left there at all) but a memory of singing along loudly with the radio comes to mind. Hmm... and I'm sure we didn't hit anything/one on the way either. Which leads me to today, this lovely drizzly morning, with an unbelievable craving for anything non-alcoholic liquids. So far I've had two cups of tea, orange juice, and I've finished the one liter water bottle I already started during the night. I'm shocked that my bladder hasn't gone to strike yet but if he knows what's good for him, he better behave. Going for an extra-long soak in the bathtub now (must refrain from drinking the water...hmm...bathfoam) *cough cough* Anyhoo, my apologies for any incohorent thoughts and bad spelling but... frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Joke of the day

A three year old little boy is examining his testicles while taking a bath.

"Mama," he asks, "Are these my brains?"

Mama answers, "Not yet."

Once and never again?

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?"

"To love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all."


First: the most important or best.
True: real or exact.
Only: sb/sth is the best and you would not choose any other.


No matter how much I agree with these clichéd quotes, I can't not help but thinking 'they' never make these silly phrases about their first true love. Why? Because it's is so hard to find? I think everyone falls ultimately in love at one moment in their lives. Then why don't people talk about it? I believe the answer is fairly simple: those who have found it and have been able to keep it, are too delirious to waste time in convincing others of the great feeling. Besides people who have never experienced it, can't relate to the emotion. And there are those who have found it once but lost it all the same. I belong to the latter category and I can say it's too hard and despairing to talk about it.

Then why am I writing this down? I've been thinking about true/first love for the past days and I'm not entirely pleased with what I concluded. First of all, I never realised he was my only love until after it ended. Only afterwards did I knew he had taken a part of me with him. Now, all's said and done and in the end I did what everyone else would do: try to get over it and move on. However, lately I've wondered about the fact that every single time, every single little thing is compared to him.

Affection? He gave more.
Intelligence? He was smarter.
Humour? He was funnier.
Lover? He was better.
Better.
Better.
Better...

A serious problem rises to the occasion: Will I always be looking for someone who is equal to him? For something that is as wonderful as it was with him? Will I never stop longing for the time I had with him? Can someone ever recover from the man you gave everything to? His person is irrevocably connected to what we had. And that's exactly what I've been missing: the feeling. With the knowledge of the past, shall I find that feeling once more or do we truly, madly, deeply love only once? Until now, I'd have to say: only once since anyone else that came after him was nothing more than an attempt to fill the empty void. Without success.

Classroom conversations

Student: 'Hmmm, looks like Mrs VD is absent.'
Me: 'Please, tell me you're joking! Don't tell me I came all the way over here for nothing!'
Student: 'I could if it would make you feel better but...' *points at notice board*
Me: *stalks quite rapidly towards board and reads message*
Me: 'Well fuck me sideways...'
Teacher: 'That line sounds oddly familiar...'
Me: *restrains surprised squee*
Teacher: 'Definitely heard it before.'
Me: *turns sheepishly around* 'It's from a movie: Judas Kiss.'
Teacher: *eyeroll* 'Of course, I love Emma Thompson! Well, see you in class...'


See, teachers ARE educated!

Since everyone's doing it

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion! And chances are, you're currently in love. You have a strong physical response to love... And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's" Your Love Style?

One step at a time

I'm feeling super today, as long as I don't move a muscle... Woke up this morning still painfully aware of the muscular cramps in my wrists and left-hand fingers: remind me NOT to have knit-marathon until I'm a qualified and experienced knitter. And as if I hadn't learned my lesson I decided to test the physical condition after I came back from another dull class because the foot is keeping up with being painless.

I really, REALLY should not have done that! Took the dog on a simple 4 km walk and I couldn't believe how bad it felt. I think I've discovered entirely new muscular areas nobody has ever heard of. I never knew my body could protest so fervently against my stupid mind.

Well, NOW I know and I'm afraid it's going to take my time to get back to the simplest form of jogging. *pouts* And I was so looking forward to testing my new running shoes. Shoot. Anyway, I managed to drag myself back in the house, still in the company of the happy dog who looked like she just took a stroll through the garden. Gods, I hate her. I was kinda hoping for some nice piece of male to massage my tired feet, alas, I had to console myself with a cup of tea instead.

On the other hand, while I was putting myself through torture I conveniently avoided answering my grandparents phone call. They usually call every Wednesday around noon to ask me to join them for 'lunch' at some restaurant. I don't know about you, dear reader, but I'm not a restaurant person (special occasions excluded) and my grandparents spend - let's say - 5 days of the week eating out somewhere...just because they're too lazy to cook for themselves, plus my grandmother isn't mentally capable anymore to do such a simple thing as cooking. Alzheimer, although with the medication she no longer has those temper tantrums. It's so sad to see someone wither away like that... And since my grandfather had a heavy operation a few years back, he thinks every year will be his last so they live like each day is their last. Hence the restaurant mania. But I'm not interested in sitting at a table somewhere, eating so I tried to decline/avoid it as much as possible. Which worked to a certain extent but unfortunately my cousin has no such qualms about saying 'no' and every Wednesday when they pick her up from school, I get the dreaded call...

Will continue knitting later on, wrists be damned, or else I'll be behind on my schedule. I think I'll have a serious conversation with silver first to see if it will cooperate (I sincerely wish I could add 'better' or 'more' after that verb, but sadly enough I can't) However the good news is that it's starting to resemble a scarf. The bad one is that my dad has announced he'll be wanting one too and if I don't knit him one he'll just steal mine. Suffice to say I am not pleased with the latter news.

Oh shit! Just realised that I still have to replenish the hens watertank which means I'll have to walk 4 X 40 meters across the garden. Well, if you don't read anything from me soon, set up a search party okay?

Hard Times

Yet another day skipped on the blog-thingy, damn! And I'm not even in the mood for posting, well at least typing doesn't hurt. For your information: I just got back from the dentist, a chirpy fellow who happily announces that you can come back next week, because "Yes!" [insert big grin] "That tooth here does look like it needs some attention!! Let's make an appointment, shall we?" Righteous bastard! Anyway, the anesthesics are starting to wear off so both corners of my mouth will lift upwards when I attempt a smile. Finally I can look in the mirror again without weeping.

Received my Rasputin dvd today! Immediately checked if the delivered disk actually did contained said movie and luckily I only had to wait five minutes before Bearded!Alan adorned my screen... *happy sigh*
So for those that were concerned (or an emotion similar to this): there's no need to worry...my Rickmania isn't faltering one bit...on the contrary... still love him to bits! *goes off in search for AABA dvd*

Sadly enough it does indeed means that my Real Life Love is slowly dying out for reasons I can not explain to you since I have no clue as to why it suddenly changed. I'm hoping it will rekindle in the very, very near future... or else I shall be forced to Move On (and I even prefer a treatment with liquid nitrogen above that!) Especially seeing there's no other Real life love interest....sadly enough the only love I'm harbouring is for the green yarn in my scarf. Not the silver, it's being a bitch about getting knitted.

Sunday bloody Sunday

Meep! I've been such a bad blogger... I should be ashamed of myself for not posting anything sooner! But I'm not, and you, dear reader, should feel relieved because now you aren't wasting your precious time, absorbing all the crappy stuff I could have written.

Anyway...nothing extraordinary to tell... and I'm chatting at the moment so I'll be quick about it. You should take your time for other things: like spending time outdoors and enjoying the beautiful view, reading a good book, sex, a shopping spree, going out with friends...but in no circumstance should you waste your time describing one's miserable existence.

What happened to me since Thursday? I had class on Friday... entertainment for the educated mind but nothing more. My foot has been annoying me to no end, leaving me confined to the house all weekend. The only positive aspect that I could mention, is that I've started my Slytherin scarf yesterday! I've decided to do another stitch pattern then that which has been given on several websites...and I had to recalculate the length of the several colour patches too, but all's well that begins well and I've commenced with my second colour today!

Ending note: I think I'm falling out of love...

Seen way too much Snape vids

Right Said Fred is on the radio with I'm too sexy and I'm doing the Snape moves along!! Needless to say I need to get out more...

Snap

Oh goody, I've been having problems uploading my page to create a post since yesterday, so I'm glad to have access to my own damn blog now! Not that I had anything interesting to mention yesterday, but still I've been wanting to typ here all day...

First of all, for the blogger who asked what was wrong with my foot...well, I'm not exactly sure what it is exactly because my doctor gave me the scientific explanation once...and basically I didn't understood a word of it but to cut it short, he has to treat this ailment with liquid nitrogen (uttter joy that one!) until it's completely gone... I've had it for about four years now and it always returned so that's why my doctor prescribed an 'extensive' treatment... meaning I have to back every three weeks while he applies the nitrogen. I don't know if you ever had a treatment with this chemical but I can tell you it's no picknick, especially from the second one on. You could compare it with holding a piece of very cold ice against your skin for a long time until it feels like it's burning...only about ten times worse.

But enough on the medical report and the consequential little limp I develop afterwards, I didn't get the chance to go to the bookstore yesterday but I have successfully executed my Wool Plan! Finally found my dark green and after pulling a Snape on the saleslady (who was very rude if I might add!) I got my silver/gray too! Woohoo...I can start the knitting any day now!

Then today I (finally!) went to get my book and lucky me, he was there!! Unfortunately the whole staff was there to re-stock the store and he was busy unpacking the books from the boxes, reading out the titles and commenting on them...so I didn't get a chance to talk to him. Yet I was very...pleased to see and hear him again, nonetheless. I was surprised to see him wearing something else than black though (a red t-shirt this time) but the reason why I did almost burst out in giggles was because he was wearing...suspenders! (braces for the americanised amongst you). The fact that I thought it was cute shows how biased I've become... Anyway, I've never heard him talk that much (apparently he enjoys cycling) and despite the knowledge that had those two co-workers not been there; it would have been just the two of us, I'm looking forward to another visit soon (in serious need to stare in his beautiful blue eyes again!) Ordered another book already but I'll be there sooner most likely ;-) since I still need the first part of my Anne Rice trilogy about the Mayfair family!

Other good news? Why yes, indeed! I got an email notice: my copy of Rasputin is on the way! *does happy dance*

And now I'm off to bandage my finger...it started bleeding again. Dad and I killed one of our old hens this afternoon (she was eating all the eggs!) and clumsy as I am I cut myself when I was removing the skin. Thankfully it was just a shallow one but the dog has just scratched it open in her enthusiastic response...

Flavour to die for

Today I had my carefully planned visit to the bookstore and I wish I could overwhelm you with an alluring tale about lust and seduction but alas... he wasn't there. Yup, that kind of ruined my buzzing state of mind. So what did I do then? I walked back out there, sans book because I'll be damned if I'm going to pick up my book when he isn't there. It can stay on the shelve a bit longer, I'm not in a hurry (at least not for the book). Anyway, I went to the coffee shop to drown my misery in an excellent cup of Brazilian brew and couldn't prevent thinking about some of Marvin's lines. Afterwards I treated myself and bought some lingerie. Normally I'd buy a book yet due to recent events I have plenty of them to make it through the rest of the year. Consequently, lingerie it was then...beautiful black and silk...made in heaven to make me feel better! Add my latest pair of earrings to the list (why do I have a thing for butterflies?) and I was wearing an expression that could be considered moderately pleased...if you'd squint your eyes.

I'm going back tomorrow morning because I've a doctor's appointment in the afternoonn and I doubt I'll be able to walk after it. (the dirty minds amongst you may crawl out of the gutter right now since I was referring to his manhandling of my foot...really!) And I'm quite sure that limping isn't a very attractive feature (although I found the Snape-limp in CoS quite sexy but that's just my fucked up mind, most likely!) So tomorrow it is then! Although if he is the slightest bit compassionate perhaps he will offer to help me...The last time I was there he searched for my (hard to find) book for ten minutes... hmm...must ponder about this for a while: Will I risk making a fool out of myself or will I risk making a fool out of myself? ...Thoughie!

Well, I'm going to stop here, my grandparents are coming over in a while and maybe I can execute my Wool-Plan, with the application of a bit of cunning.

Lost

If roses are meant to be red
And violets to be blue
Why isn’t my heart meant for you

My hands longing to touch you
But I can barely breathe
Starry eyes that make me melt
Right in front of me

This music’s irresistible
Your voice makes my skin crawl
Innocent and pure
I guess you heard it all before

Mister Inaccessible
Will this ever change
One thing that remains the same
You’re still a picture in a frame

I get lost in this world
I get lost in your eyes
And when the lights go down
That’s where I’ll be found

I get lost in this world
I get lost in your eyes
And when the lights go down
Am I the only one


Some very appropriate lyrics by Anouk that have settled in my mind and refuse to leave while I think about him...

Weekend

Well, I had already decided to post only once during the weekends, seeing that nothing worth mentioning happens during those two days, except perhaps when I'm going out but that doesn't happen that much either so... only one blog in the weekend.

As stipulated above nothing extraordinary happened: I watched Bob Roberts as I said I would and it really helped to put my mind on other things... The movie is original, Tim Robbins is in excellent form and the best AR scene is an extended one where he tries to dodge his way around a camera, and gives it the evil glare.

An Awfully Big Adventure is a lovely read and brings forward some interesting information about O'Hara that was left out of the movie. Btw, only two days before this film is released on dvd!

Good news! My wool-plan is finally coming along nicely, I already browsed through the PoA dvd, stopped, zoomed in and pressed the re-play button a thousand times and I now have a pretty good idea about the colours...so I'll be knitting along soon. They better NOT change the pattern again for the next movie!! For once I actually like the one they have now. And who knows, if I'm feeling ambitious I might even do mittens as well...

I desperately want to go jogging... The last days were really horrible, it's like I'm suffering from withdrawal signs or something. It's been two months since I last put on my trainers because of my bloody foot injury (well, more like an ailment really, anyway, it left me incapable of jogging all the same) and I want to start again. Which will be pure agony for limbs and muscles I fear, and yet I still wish to go out there and run until I drop down from exhaustion and fatigue... But I can't and it's frustrating as hell... Here's to my nice doctor who will hopefully will give my clearance on Wednesday... if not...I wonder whether I could bribe him with a knitted scarf?

Had J. dream(s) last night. I can't remember if they were good or not but I do know I had them because I woke up feeling sad and restless. Am not sure wheter this is a positive development or not. Best not think about it too much.

For the Alan Rickman lovers out there (which is all you'll find here btw):
http://www.mugglenet.com/viewer/?image_location=/cast/rickman/alanandjoan.jpg

For God's sake

Today was one of those days you want to forget as soon as possible...altogether. It started this morning when I woke up with rain gushing against my window and it all got downhill from then on. Class was boring, especially when the teacher decided to elaborate on one of his theories on the logic of grammar. Suffice to say it had nothing to do with our course notes and everyone simply zoned out. Yes, me included because I was already thoroughly pissed even before class started since I spotted a group assignment on the notice board. Needless to say that our group leader wanted to start 'immediately after class' and seeing nobody protested against his brilliant idea... what could I say? So I sighed wistfully and trodded along to a deserted classroom after starting my brain back up (bloody lecture).

As of now I am still here on the school premises and our group has moved to the computer room to prepare a power point presentation. Our leader is technology-shy (I would even go as far as saying he's simply ignorant...so there!) The other two are fresh from high school and their opinion and lack of knowledge conflict too much with leader and me. I'm sure I don't have to point out to you, dear reader, who is sitting behind the computer screen composing slides?
I'm tired, grumpy and have thrown a temper tantrum thrice already... My, my, I do believe they are starting to realise I might not be sitting here with enthusiasm after all.

But honestly, it's four in the afternoon on a Friday! Who in their right mind would voluntarily spend time in school?? I certainly would not... not when I had other perspectives to look forward to. When I get home I shall console myself with Bob Roberts. This movie better be good!

Ah, it seems like another crisis is averted... back to power pointing... *sigh*

Awakening

Sometimes it is hard to believe how a new season can influence one's productiveness. Since we had those two weeks of lovely sunny-spring weather I wake up every day completely rested and full of energy (might be the excellent bed I'm sleeping in) and I can't help but feeling the need to occupy myself with as many activities I can come up with now that I'm so motivated.

Most of these are mindless and easy tasks to prevent boredom from taking over (and I haven't been entirely succesful on that account) but my problem is so ridicilously stupid: you see, I have written down all my ideas on a list and now I can't choose what to do first. How does one determine whether one thing has a higher priority than the other?? And what to do with those few entries on the piece of paper that are too unrealistic to realise? Should I forget about them altogether or not? (I mean, I am really, really interested in J. but I have no clue how to handle this situation. I've never taken the initiative before and I don't know him at all... only talked to him about books which is pretty obvious seeing he works in a bookstore. Damn... I have so reached an impasse and I don't know what to do about it. I can't keep going and buy books, can I? Well, besides my budget, it wouldn't hurt anyone... But seriously, some advice is always welcome!)

Shoot, now I've made myself feel insecure again. Not seeing him for five days might have something to with that as well... Must re-create own happiness! Let's see... Oh, I was simply giddy with excitement earlier this week because after unwrapping my mail on Monday I am now in the proud possession of Something the Lord Made and Bob Roberts. Yay!! I already saw StLM and it was excellent! I always love a historical portrayal of an event or person, so I knew I would like this movie no matter what, yet finally seeing Alan at work again... well, it just made my week! I will definitely watch BR today/tomorrow and then I just have to be patient for when my copy of Rasputin arrives. Oh, yes and patiently await the release for An Awfully Big Adventure on April 19...who could forget that delicious one! Gods, I love the timing of whomever distributes AABA, I just received the book last week (guess where I got it from?) so I'll be able to read it first for extra background information. Plus, did I mention that Alan's on the cover?

Extra uplifting mood-moments this week:
~ getting (belated) birthday wishes from an old friend I didn't hear from for a couple of years.
~ sending b-day present to Miss Rickman (giving is so much more fun than receiving!)
~ finally watching Mystic River!
~ opening my mouth in English class during the discussion of Ragtime so that our poor teacher had someone to talk to
~ made dentist appointment
~ creating this blog has proven to be a smart...cough...cough...choice so far

Edit: I just checked my email after sending off my transcription (don't talk to me about Einstein please!) and I got a notice informing me that my ordered book has arrived. Meaning that I'm going to the bookstore tomorrow! And the first thing that comes to my mind after I stopped jumping with joy was: 'Merde, what am I going to wear?!' ;-) You see, there's hope for me yet...Damn, I shouldn't be so excited, it can't be good for my poor heart...

Getting started...

A few weeks ago I was talking to a certain Miss Kettleburn about keeping a diary. I told her then that over the past years I tried keeping one but every single time the unfortunate book ended somewhere in the back of a drawer, collecting dust. Hence the reason why diaries in my case are a big no-no, especially for the sake of said bundle of pages.

However, I do spend all my free time in front of my computer so a blog could just be what I've been looking for all my undocumented life. I do realise that I'm still supposed to typ something (preferably) intelligent or interesting but I'm confident that with bookmarking my own blog I'll be drawn to this tiny space I can call my own (Not exactly, I know - for proof: see title) and I actually will come up with a consistent string of words... Well, hopefully.

I also read in the newspaper today that writing down events of your past or present has proven to work very therapeutic to organise your thoughts in a structural way. Since I never had structure in my entire life, I will let you know how it feels... if I recognise the feeling that is.

I noticed that I had the tendecy to ramble in my comments on a friends blog about my pitiful excuses on living (once again, my sincere apologies!) that I simply knew I could not put anyone through that for much longer. What do you know, another reason why this blog is a decent idea...cough...cough....

But most importantly, I'm just Bored... indeed, with a capital b and applied to me, that's saying something... I normally never come close to the word. Yet, seeing I haven't been under stress lately I decided to piss myself off by adding this to the to do-list.

Enjoy. I know I won't ;-)